So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
