Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
