She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
