I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
