I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
