this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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