There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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