my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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