I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
