I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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