I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
