And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
