Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
