i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
