I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
