So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
