oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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