well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
