why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
