Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We left the knife in your bed.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
