...so i touched it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
