the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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