I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
