I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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