I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Randomize
