Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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