I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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