I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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