Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize