...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
