Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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