don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
