Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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