Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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