i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
