That's when you crack a 10am beer
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
