You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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