Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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