he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
