OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
