he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
