Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
