I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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