I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Even my vagina gasped.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
