well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
