He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my shit smells like andre
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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