Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
