I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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