He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
