The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
