Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
