i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
