I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
