Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
