We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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