Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
