i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
